Memoirs Of An Evil Genius: Nobody Drives, Nobody Gets Hurt

August 16, 2007

Nobody Drives, Nobody Gets Hurt

Okay, seriously, what the hell? Remember how a driver-less van smashed into our building the other day? Well, not ten minutes ago, an SUV plowed into the building across the street. And this comes four days after I watched a car's TIRE COME OFF on the EXPRESSWAY in the MIDDLE OF TRAFFIC. I don't mean that the hubcap popped off, or that the rubber blew or something; I'm talking about a wheel jumping ship and rolling merrily down the center lane all by itself, while the sports car skids to a sparky halt against a guardrail. I repeat: what the hell? There is some bad driving juju in the air, people! It's like Lindsay Lohan is astral projecting from rehab to take revenge! I'm afraid to get on the road now!

In related news, tomorrow is Deposition, Part Deux. I have to drive downtown, remember in detail an accident I witnessed three years ago, and then drive all the way back into the Valley for work. The commute alone is going to take at least an hour each way, and I am SO JAZZED ABOUT THE DRIVE I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU!!!

Also in related news, I have been working through my lunches all week just for that purpose: so I can still leave on time tomorrow. See, tomorrow is ALSO Ulrich's and my 2nd anniversary! So we want to go out to dinner together. Working until 10:30 to make up for my deposition would put a crimp in that plan. Like, happy anniversary, I got you a typed copy of my testimony in Barton v. City of Los Angeles. But it won't arrive for another three weeks or so.

August 16, 2007 in Car and Driver, Creature Discomforts, Ulrich | Permalink

Comments

Book 'Em, Dr. No

Dean Koontz: Intensity
Suspenseful and unnerving, this book suffers from only two minor flaws. While Koontz's purple prose lends itself well to description and rumination, it does no favors for the scattered bits of dialog in this otherwise well-written tale. Additionally, after a crashingly good horror story with genuine moments of real introspection, the final denouement seems trite and preachy. Overall, though, an exciting read.
Joanne Harris: Gentlemen and Players
My one complaint about Joanne Harris is that her protagonists tend to be abrasive and unlikeable. Not so here, which is possibly her best to date -- our hero is one of the most enjoyable characters she's developed yet; even the villain has a cunning appeal, and Harris pits the two narratives against each other, ratcheting the suspense as she slowly brings things to a boil.
Mary Roberts Rinehart: The Door
This complex and atmospheric mystery, published in 1930, is the genesis of a well-known phrase - which I can't reveal without ruining the twist ending. Suffice it to say that Rinehart is a very clever writer, although she relies heavily on a device throughout this book where she forecasts all major plot points and then doubles back to develop them, flashback-style. The herky-jerk nature of this style dampens some of the mounting suspense, but it's an engrossing read overall.
Janet Evanovich: Visions of Sugar Plums
My mother is a woman obsessed with Janet Evanovich, and she has been insisting for years that I read her interstitial novellas. This is the first, and it's a cute, breezy Christmas tale. There's a supernatural element that wasn't my cup of tea -- too much peanut butter in my chocolate -- but if you're a fan of Evanovich, you'll like it.
John Buchan: The Thirty-Nine Steps
A brisk and engaging spy thriller, this novella - the source material for Hitchcock's famous film - barely exceeds 100 pages. It strains credibility a bit, but it's still a fun read, and although the Georgian era references and colloquialisms are sometimes hard to follow, a glossary of terms (!) at the back of the book does help.
James E. McWilliams: A Revolution in Eating: How the Quest for Food Shaped America
An excellent book, especially if you're interested in culinary anthropology or American cultural, social, geographical, or political history. The author charts the evolution of regional American cuisine from colonial times to the Revolution.
Janet Evanovich: Metro Girl
Typical of Evanovich's style - this is light, easy, and fun; a good summertime book. Perhaps a bit too stylistically similar to her Stephanie Plum series, but if it ain't broke...
Heather Graham: The Seance
So bad. SO. BAD. Just...just so bad.
David Kamp: The United States of Arugula: How We Became a Gourmet Nation
An authoritative and compellingly-written look at the rise of gourmet cuisine in the American culture, charting it from Le Pavillon to Chez Panisse to Whole Foods. It will make you want to cook, y'all. For reals.
James Patterson: 1st to Die: A Novel
A recommendation from my mother -- she's hooked. I thought it was good, but Patterson's blunt, staccato writing style took some getting used to. Still, if you like procedurals, it's an effective diversion.