Memoirs Of An Evil Genius: I Slept With My Sister-in-Law!

May 29, 2008

I Slept With My Sister-in-Law!

That got your attention! OMG, it's been like a MONTH since I last updated. I'm sorry, y'all. I was really busy, and then I was less busy but TOTALLY distracted by other things...anyway, I'm here now to make it all better.

So, my little brother got married. I had to give a speech, which I agonized about for months, but it all went really well in the end and I got to know some of his friends -- a double-sided prospect, to be sure. They were all really funny, but they were also really DUDE-ly, you know? What I mean to say is that my efforts to fit in were both clunky and obvious when they were talking as a group, but I got along very well with them as individuals. Good thing we have alcohol, the Great Equalizer.

Anyway, KillerWorkout is something of a traditionalist. He insisted on tuxedos for the men and a gown for the bride, and some of the other trimmings and trappings that go along with it. For example, he didn't want to see his fiancée the night before the wedding. This meant she had to GO somewhere, and my mother thoughtfully offered the other twin bed in my room. While I was also sleeping there. Bear in mind here that there are two (2) other guest rooms as well as THREE (3!) couches and a (1!!) pull-out sofa she could have used. The intricacies of my mother's mind are myriad and impossible to fathom, but I have to wonder if she wasn't dipping into a bit of her own Great Equalizer at the time.

Anyway, this led to much ribaldry on behalf of the groomsmen, who teased my brother because his wife slept with the best man on the eve of their nuptials. The joke is increased further because the maid of honor sorta kinda accidentally signed the marriage certificate in the bride's spot. So he almost married the maid of honor and his fiancée sort of slept with the best man, and that's the only kind of wedding I ever expect to be involved with, quite frankly, which leads me to ANOTHER exciting story!

Remember Pussy Galore? And how she was going to get married, but then had to postpone it because she got preggers? And then they picked a date, and she asked me to be her man of honor, and she chose a dress, and I started planning a bachelorette party? Well, she got knocked up again and they've had to postpone it a second time. I told her she needs to STOP HAVING SEX. Or whatever it is she's doing. Seems like you just have to say the word "wedding" and she comes down with a case of the babies. This will be number THREE (3!!!) and she hasn't even made it past the church door yet. At least she knows she's fertile, right? I mean, that's a good thing?

Anyway, work has stabilized greatly over the past couple of weeks, which is why I have the liberty to write this now. I have some great pictures to share as well, because I FINALLY bought a new digital camera! I just have to figure out how it works. This could be tricky because of my deficiency in understanding technical mumbo-jumbo, and my aversion to "reading instructions".

Wow! This "writing my blog" thing has been a really refreshing change of pace! I'll have to do more of it. Just...don't hold your breath, I guess.

May 29, 2008 in Family: They're Nuts, But I Love (Most Of) Them, Major Events, Travel | Permalink

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